I give you my heart, literally!
by marshmallow-chan35
Summary: The academy’s infamous Ice Queen experiences a very weird valentines day as a stupid fan boy suddenly confesses his love for the her in a very unimaginably idiotic way…


Weeeeh! This is my first one-shot! Ahehehe… I know it's kinda late but this is supposed to be my valentine's fic! Hehe… I failed to upload it on feb.14 due to my super duper busy schedule…

Waaaaaaah! What the heck is wrong with me?! I'm supposed to study for our exams!!! Yet here I am, writing my fic!!! How stupid can i get?! Oh no!!! I'm soooooooo doomed!

**0.o**

Anywayz, R&R..

This is dedicated to my friend milky who gave me the idea during our biology class… ahehe…

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**Summary:**

The academy's infamous Ice Queen experiences a very weird valentines day as a stupid fan boy suddenly confesses his love for the her in a very unimaginably idiotic way…

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**Disclaimer:** I don't own Gakuen Alice… but, it's free to dream, right?

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I Give You My Heart, Literally!

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…_insane and plain stupid..._

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The sun's rays streamed through the big, wide windows, illuminating the dark three-star room of a certain raven-haired girl as she lay asleep and serene in her queen sized bed. Her arms were entwined around her new and improved baka gun 08, and her long smooth legs bunched together in a fetal-like sleeping position. She looked like an angel, sleeping peacefully.

Until….

"KYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!" someone suddenly screamed.

She stirred in her sleep.

"KYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!"

Grunting faintly, she shifted her position again.

"KYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!"

A vein popped in her head as she slowly opened her eyes, clearly annoyed and pissed. She covered her head with her lavender pillow. What the heck is wrong with the idiots out there?! It was still too early for goodness' sake!

A few seconds later she almost fell asleep but then….

"KYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!" someone screamed again.

Arrrrrgh! Did mikan's idiocy rub off on them, making them more idiotic than before?!?! Note to self: make the room soundproof ASAP!

She tried to sleep again but to no avail. Every single second, screams like, 'KYAAAAAA! NATSUME-SAMA' or 'RUKA-KUN COME HERE!!' could be heard.

Okay, that's it.

Annoyed, she got up and walked towards her door, the new and improved baka gun 08 in hand. When she opened the door, she saw deranged fan girls running all around the halls, chasing after the unfortunate school heartthrobs namely, Natsume Hyuuga and Ruka Nogi, endlessly while holding their precious chocolates. There was practically a stampede! And she's not exaggerating. Honestly.

_Tch, annoying idiots. You'll pay for ruining my sleep._ She thought as she raised her precious baka gun coolly and began shooting at the fan girls mercilessly. After a few seconds, the 3rd floor dormitory corridor was filled with unconscious girls, lying sprawled across the floor with bumps in their head.

_Serves them right, those insane beings! _She thought as she blew the smoke from the tip of her baka gun.

God, what a day!

It was still so early in the morning, yet her eyes were already sore from seeing far too many mentally retarded idiots who can't even tell fantasy from reality.

How frustrating.

Well, who could blame those poor idiots?

It was February 14 after all.

Valentine's day.

The day when women give the men gifts of chocolate as well as other gifts.

Well, the fan girls and fan boys may have overdone it a little too much but, hey, they're just desperate!

Just then, she heard a furious knock on her door. When she opened it, she saw her fans lining up outside her room, bringing bags of chocolate and screaming things like, 'IMAI-SAN!!! Will you accept my chocolate??' or 'IMAI-SAN!! Will you marry me?!'

Then, Sumire Shouda's stupid brother, who was in front, came closer to her and said in a very proud, boastful voice, "Hahahahaha! These hopeless fools! Hotaru-chan here will only accept no other chocolate but mine, seeing as she has a secret crush on me! Right, Hotaru-chan?"

Talk about being desperate!

Too bad she left her Baka gun 08 on her bedside table.

She hurriedly slammed the door shut, hitting the seaweed boy's ugly face in the process **(A/N: Ouch! That has got to hurt!)**, and triple locked it with her super duper indestructible pig-shaped lock so that those fan boys could not enter. She heard him shriek in a very girly way and cry 'OUCH!'—Haha! She could just imagine his sore red face! — While the other fan boys went crazy and all, making futile attempts just to get inside.

Those hopeless idiots!

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"HAPPY VALENTINES DAY, HOTARUUUUUUU!!!!!!!!" came the greeting of her loud, idiotic best friend as she tried to hug her.

BAKABAKABAKABAKABAKABAKABAKABAKABAKABAKABAKA, she shot her with her Baka gun 08.

"Ouch! You meanie!"

"Idiot."

Then suddenly…

"WAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!!!!!! NATSUME-KUN!!!!!!!! PLEASE ACCEPT MY CHOCOLATE!!!!!" A huge mob of fan girls came running towards Natsume, who was seated at the back of the classroom, passed by Hotaru and Mikan, causing the both of them to fall down.

_I hate Valentine 's Day. _Hotaru thought as she stood up and began shooting the girls with her baka gun 08… again.

_Idiots. It's bad enough that they were born idiotic, it's even more frustrating that they stayed idiotic for the rest of their lives. _

She then went out of the classroom to get away from all the commotion.

As she was walking down the hall, she suddenly came across a boy lying down the floor covered in a pool of blood.

She saw that it was that annoying seaweed-haired boy who kept on stalking her.

"uh…Imai-san. I give you my heart" he said, showing her his fresh real live—well, in this case, dead--- heart which he was holding in his hand.

She sweatdropped. Could anyone be more idiotic than this?!

"And I'll give you a piece of my mind because you don't have any… Idiot."

I mean, hello! Giving your heart literally?! That's plain stupid and idiotic.

Pity. He must have been just a poor, helpless victim infected by Mikan's incurable idiocy. It must be contagious. Gotta get away from here before it spreads and infects me.

So, Hotaru ran away from the seaweed boy who was already dying.

"Wait!" he called out. Hotaru turned to look at him, her face as stoic as ever.

"I sliced it out of me just for you"

_God, what an idiot._

"Get a life." She said as she continued to run away.

"But I'm dying. I don't have a life anymore… almost."

"That's not my problem anymore…. idiot" Hotaru said as she continued to run away.

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Okay.. how was it? 

Idiotic, I know.

And boring.

I already warned you.

But hey, this was only a product of my very uncreative and sleepy mind during an extremely boring discussion in our biology class, so, screw me. I just did it to pass some time.

Anyway, was that even funny?? I thought it was pretty lame.. Well, it was much funnier when I drew it. My classmates ended up laughing when they read my little comic version of this… hehe…

Anyway, please read my other fic, Unlikely Attractions

I assure you it isn't as boring as this one and my mind was not THAT uncreative when I made that story.. please read it and review too so that I will know what to do with that fic.

I need suggestions for 'Unlikely Attractions', btw…

Please! I just don't know how to continue it! waaaaaaah! (Cries waterfalls)

I want to update it but my mind is kinda confused right now… I just can't think straight. Sigh.

Help me!

Anyway :D

Don't forget to review!

Ja!


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